What Happens in an EMDR Session?

Kyle Lincoln
Sep 10
13 min read

A winding mountain road with a pickup truck, overlaid with a large “7” and the words “Days Inside… EMDR.” — Cover for *7 Days Inside: EMDR* "What Happens in an EMDR Session?"

Episode Summary

This orientation episode demystifies the flow of an EMDR session so first-time clients know what to expect. Hosted by Kyle Lincoln, a counselor in Salem, Massachusetts, with Kellyn stepping into the role of a new client, the conversation begins with what happens before any memory work: preparation and resourcing. You will hear how early sessions focus on safety, skills, and transparent structure—no pressure to start with your hardest memory.

From there, Kyle explains how reprocessing works in brief sets of bilateral stimulation (eye movements, taps, tones, or tactile buzzers), always with the client in control. The episode introduces TICES for mapping triggers, and “target language” (NC, PC, SUDs, VOC) for focusing work and measuring change. It also shows how EMDR supports the present and future—using TICES for current triggers and a Future Template to rehearse confidence for upcoming events.

To close, Kyle guides a short “Creating a Calm State” practice you can revisit anytime. The big takeaway: EMDR is collaborative and paced by you, designed to make the work feel understandable, safe, and doable.

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not replace professional EMDR training, certification, or therapy. For official training or resources, please visit EMDRIA.org.

Listen to this Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcript, Introduction (Part 1)

[Kyle]: Hi everyone, and welcome back to 7 Days Inside: EMDR. I'm Kyle Lincoln, a mental health counselor based in Salem, Massachusetts.

[Kellyn]: And I'm Kellyn, i work with kyle at his practice bts. Great to be back.

[Kyle]: Today, we’re going to do something a little different. I want to pull back the curtain and demystify what it actually feels like to start EMDR. So, we're going to treat this episode like an orientation. Kellyn, I want you to step into the role of someone who is brand new to this, walking into my office for the first time—curious, but maybe a little nervous.

[Kellyn]: Okay, I can definitely do that. So I can just ask the questions that would be on my mind?

[Kyle]: Yes, let me do the guiding but definitely ask anything that comes up along the way. I will set a roadmap for the key stages of EMDR: first, the preparation work, where I learn about your story and we help you figure out some coping tools that work for you, and second, the memory work, what happens when we process a memory, and how we can even use EMDR for present-day triggers and future goals.

[Kellyn]: Perfect. So this is for anyone who is asking themselves, "What am I actually signing up for?" Let's do it.

Transcript, A New Client Orientation (Part 2)

[Kyle]: Alright, so, Kellyn, welcome. Let’s pretend you’re here in my office for the first time. You walk through the door, see my L-shaped couch, my legos collection, and I invite you to take a seat.

Walk me through what’s going on in your mind.

[Kellyn]: Honestly? I’m nervous we’re going to dive right into the worst thing that ever happened to me. Do we just... start with that?

[Kyle]: That’s probably the number one fear, and I can tell you with 100% certainty: absolutely not. The first, and most important, part of this process is all about preparation. We don't go anywhere near a difficult memory until you feel safe, grounded, and equipped with tools to manage any distress that might come up when we start processing memories. We’ll spend our first few sessions just talking, getting to know your story, and building resources.

[Kellyn]: OK, instantly, I’m feeling much better about this whole thing. But you mentioned starting with building resources? What do you mean by that?

[Kyle]: I think of resources as things that help you, things that are part of your mental health toolbox. In the case of trauma work, the most essential are the practical skills you can use to calm your nervous system. For example, in a real session, I might guide you through an exercise like the "Calm State" we'll practice later, and we'd strengthen it until you could call on that feeling of calm whenever you needed it.

[Kellyn]: So, is that like homework? Am I going to have to practice things between sessions?

[Kyle]: "Practice" is a great word for it. I might encourage you to notice moments of calm during your week, or use a breathing exercise we practiced. But, it’s definitely not homework. I love telling people that EMDR has no homework. Your homework is to go live your life! But, like everything, you do get better at using resources with practice.

[Kellyn]: Okay, that’s a relief. So, let’s say we’ve done that. I've got my tools, I feel ready. What does it look like when we finally approach a memory? Are you going to make me talk about it for an hour straight? Because that sounds awful.

[Kyle]: Another great question. I should have said up front that EMDR is a very scripted kind of therapy, and your therapist will guide you in very concrete ways once you there to reprocessing. But let’s say we are there, we’re six of so sessions in. We have identified the big life issue that you are dealing with. Help me think of one…

[Kellyn]: Maybe I’m having trouble sleeping.

[Kyle]: Hmm… what if we stepped back a bit and explored something broader like feeling defeated after not getting a promotion.

[Kellyn]: So maybe feeling defeated and having a frustrating day at works is the straw that broke the camel’s back in this scenario.

[Kyle]: Yeah, so feeling defeated is more like the pattern, and missing the opportunity is more like the latest episode of life’s sad sitcom. Maybe we find a common thread in the thought “I’m a loser.”

[Kellyn]: Woof.

[Kyle]: Yeah, so we would identify a specific memory, earlier in life that may be associated with the feelings you’re having now, and I’d ask you to hold a piece of it in your mind. Then, we’d start the processing using what we call bilateral stimulation.

[Kellyn]: Right, the famous part. So will I be following your fingers back and forth the whole time? Am I going to be tapping my knees for an hour?

[Kyle]: (Laughs) No, not at all. First, I’ll say in my office, we have a few options for BLS—it can be eye movements, using vibrotactile buzzers, doing butterfly tapping, or sounds in headphones. Some people like a monitor projection I use which combines multiple elements. We find what works best for you. And second, it’s not continuous. We do it in short sets, maybe 30 or 40 seconds at a time, and then we pause, take a breath, and I’ll simply ask, "What do you notice?" I do want to emphasis that in this process you’re always in control. You can say "stop" at any time, or “keep going.”

[Kellyn]: Okay, "short sets" is a much less intimidating idea.

But, wait. In this scenario, I came in because of a job thing. It’s a little less relevant, right, to be exploring memories. What about the anxiety I felt in a meeting yesterday, or this big presentation I have coming up that I'm terrified of?

[Kyle]: I'm so glad you asked that. We always start with stabilizing, and sometimes we do devote entire sessions to finding new tools or resources when it feels urgent.

But once we start actually processing the roots of the tree, the early life experiences that are impacting your responses today–the trauma–we always start with the first or the worst memory, the touchstone. I think I mentioned this in an earlier episode. EMDR believes that unprocessed memories are things that carry over into the present and shape the way we see the future.

Once you work through some earlier memories, EMDR becomes a tool for your whole life. We actually use the TICES process for present-day triggers. If that meeting yesterday left you feeling rattled, we can target it to take the emotional charge out of it.

[Kellyn]: So through healing/reprocessing my past traumatic memories, I’m more equipped to handle my present day struggles. And what about the future? The presentation I have for work next week?

[Kyle]: That’s a good example of something for which we might build a Future Template. We can actually use EMDR to prepare you for a future event. We’d have you imagine the presentation going well, and we’d use the BLS to install feelings of calm and confidence. It’s like a dress rehearsal for your nervous system, building a pathway for success instead of anxiety.

[Kellyn]: I forgot for a second that I’m only pretending to be a client, but, honestly, walking through it like this makes the whole idea feel so much less intimidating.

[Kyle]: And that’s the entire goal. Trauma can make people feel powerless, like things are just happening to them. This process is designed to be transparent. We want you to understand the map, so you always feel like an active participant in your own healing, not just a passenger.

Transcript, Essential Concept, Target Language (Part 3)

[Kyle]: In our last discussion, we introduced the acronym TICES—which is a way to break down a memory into different pieces. What does TICES stand for, Kellyn?

[Kellyn]: Trigger, image, cognition, emotion, and sensation. Did I get that right?

[Kyle]: Nailed it!

[Kellyn]: Does that make up for not remembering what EMDR stood for in the first episode?

[Kyle]: (Laughs) Okay, so for our word of the day, we’re talking about a concept called Target Language. And I want to give a heads-up right away: EMDR has its own little world of vocabulary and acronyms and there are four more I’ll teach you.

[Kellyn]: What is it with EMDR and its acronyms?

[Kyle]: NC, PC, SUDs, VOC... yeah, it can be a lot. The goal of target language, and these 4 acronyms, is just to give a clear shape to traumatic memory. It’s about narrowing our focus and targeting one memory at a time.

[Kellyn]: Okay, so where do we start?

[Kyle]: Pretend you are working through your podcast stage fright, and let’s say you want to work through some childhood memories that might be associated with this performance anxiety.

[Kellyn]: Ok, let’s use you this time, Kyle.

[Kyle]: Good call, I will work through my little t trauma in real time. Ok, in the eighth-grade musical, I was singing a solo and couldn’t reach the high note. Let’s use this memory.

[Kellyn]: This should be good!

[Kyle]: So, you pretend you’re me so I don’t have to ask myself these questions... if you had to imagine the worst part of this memory as a still frame image, what would it be?

[Kellyn]: The look of embarrassment on my family’s face.

[Kyle]: Sure, and if you have to express a single belief about yourself in that moment, what would it be?

[Kellyn]: "I will never be good enough."

[Kyle]: There it is. Especially if this still rings true today, in the EMDR world, we'd call that the Negative Cognition, or NC for short. It's the clinical term for the lie that a painful moment teaches us about ourselves.

[Kellyn]: The lie... yeah. Okay, that makes sense.

[Kyle]: So, next, let’s measure the sting. When you think about that moment and that belief—”I will never be good enough"—how strong is that feeling for you right now, 0 to 10?

[Kellyn]: It's a solid 9. Nah. It’s probably more like a 5 in this hypothetical situation.

[Kyle]: Okay. And that "5" gets a name, too. We call it the SUDs score. It stands for Subjective Units of Disturbance, which is a ridiculously complicated way of saying "how much it hurts."

[Kellyn]: Okay, so far, the target language is Negative Cognition (or NC) and Subjective Units of Disturbance (or SUDs). What comes next?

[Kyle]: We need to find the truth, or a more adaptive belief you want to replace the lie with. What would you rather believe about yourself instead of ”I will never be good enough"?

[Kellyn]: Maybe my value doesn't depend on whether I hit the high note or not. That... "I am good enough!"

[Kyle]: That brings music to my ears. That's our Positive Cognition (the PC). It's our destination. See? The concepts are simple, the labels are just the packaging.

[Kellyn]: So we have the lie, the pain-level, and the truth we're aiming for.

[Kyle]: One last piece of vocab. We just have to check how believable that new truth feels right now. On a scale of 1 to 7, how true does "I am good enough" feel?

[Kellyn]: Oof. Low. Maybe a 3.

[Kyle]: And that's our last acronym: VOC, for Validity of Cognition. It just means "how true does the adaptive belief feel?" And a 3 is the most normal answer in the world given what happened, well to me, in the eighth grade.

[Kellyn]: So, behind all the jargon—NC, SUDs, PC, VOC—it's really a four-step process: Name the lie, measure its sting, find the truth, and see how far away that truth feels.

[Kyle]: Yes, though it’s less a four-stage process and more about visualizing the target because this is what we’ll focus on in EMDR reprocessing. I think of that as more of the process. As a side note, during Phase 3, we would also ask about the image, the emotions connected to the memory, and any bodily sensations associated with it.

[Kellyn]: TICES…

[Kyle]: Right! In order to truly know the SUDs, you have to explore the emotions and the bodily sensations since you are measuring your experience remembering and not just the level of intellectual dissonance you feel trying to fit the memory together with the negative belief it helped form. In EMDR, a target memory is considered cleared when the SUDs are a 0, the VOC is a 7, and there are no more negative body sensations connected to the memory. It has been both desensitized and effectively reprocessed around the more truthful, adaptive belief.

[Kellyn]: It’s good to know you can finally get over your Podcast stage fright… especially because we are making a podcast right now.

[Kyle]: I can now that I have defined it as an EMDR target. Ok, so that's all the Target Language we have time for! It’s the framework that helps turn traumatic memories into something you can measure and work on.

Transcript, Skill-Building Exercise, Safe Calm State (Part 4)

[Kellyn]: Okay, it’s that time again—our skill for the end of the episode. What are we trying out today?

[Kyle]: Today’s practice is called the Spiral Technique. It’s another resourcing tool from EMDR Phase Two, and it’s designed to help your body shift out of discomfort—especially when something feels stuck or tense. This one is less about calming and more about movement—letting your body do something useful with what it’s holding.

[Kellyn]: So we’re not creating a calm state, we’re helping the body release what’s in the way of it?

[Kyle]: Exactly. Sometimes people feel tightness, heaviness, or pressure in their body—like emotional energy that has nowhere to go. The Spiral Technique gives that sensation a direction. It helps you shift your attention in a way that lets your nervous system begin to settle without needing to force anything.

[Kellyn]: Okay, I’m excited to try this one out!

[Kyle]: Great. If you’re listening somewhere safe, take a moment to get comfortable. Let your body settle into your seat. You can close your eyes or just soften your gaze.

Start by noticing your body. You’re not looking for anything intense or dramatic—just see if there’s a place that feels tight, heavy, or activated in a mild way. It could be tension in your shoulders, a little restlessness in your legs, or just a place that feels “off.”

[Kellyn]: Okay… I think I feel some tightness in my stomach. Kind of like when I haven’t eaten in a while.

[Kyle]: Perfect. Stay with that sensation for a moment. No need to change it—just notice it.

Now I want you to imagine that there’s a spiral in that area. Picture it spinning. What direction is it moving? Is it turning inward or outward? Is it fast or slow?

There’s no right answer—just notice what comes to mind.

[Kellyn]: It feels like it’s spinning inward, kind of tightly.

[Kyle]: Good. Now gently imagine that spiral reversing direction. If it was spinning inward, let it begin to spiral outward. If it was turning counterclockwise, imagine it slowly shifting to clockwise.

Let the movement change gradually. You’re not forcing it—just letting your attention guide it.

(Pause)

Now let that spiral expand. Imagine it moving outward, softening, loosening. Like it’s uncoiling or dissolving tension as it goes.

And now, picture something else filling that space. Maybe it’s a color, a temperature, a sense of steadiness. Just something your body associates with relief or release.

Take a breath in…

and out…

Notice what has shifted.

[Kellyn]: MI… I could feel the sensation let up as the spiral got slower.

[Kyle]: That’s one of the unique things about this technique. It doesn’t start with calm—it starts with noticing what’s active in the body and giving it somewhere to go. You’re not suppressing anything—you’re helping it move.

[Kellyn]: It felt different from the earlier practices. Less about telling myself I’m safe, more about letting my body decide how to let go.

[Kyle]: That’s a great way to describe it. Sometimes the best way to regulate isn’t through breath or words—it’s through directional attention. You’re staying with the feeling just long enough to let it shift. Like always, the best time to practice is when you don’t need it—so that your body knows the path when you do. Try it a few times this week, even if all you’re working with is a little shoulder tension or restlessness.

Transcript, Wrap-up (Part 5)

[Kyle]: So, Kellyn, now that we are out of our pretend "session", how did that orientation feel?

[Kellyn]: Honestly? So much better than I was expecting. Just knowing that the process starts with safety, that I'm in control of the pace, and that it’s not just an hour of staring at your fingers... it makes it all feel so much more manageable and human and…. normal.

[Kyle]: So many clients say something similar once they’ve gotten their feet wet with EMDR. I think that EMDR is a really collaborative process. It’s the wrong idea entirely that I will be telling a client to follow my fingers for an hour. That just sounds like they aren’t driving the car.

[Kellyn]: So the big takeaway is that you, the client, are always in the driver’s seat.

[Kyle]: Always. The goal of any good orientation is to make you feel informed and empowered, and I hope our little walk-through did just that.

[Kellyn]: It definitely did. And I imagine that for a lot of people, a big part of feeling safe is understanding what’s happening in their own nervous system during the process.

[Kyle]: Whether you know it or not, you just set up our next episode perfectly. Now that you have a feel for what a session is like, next week we're going to better establish what safety means in trauma work and I’ll do this using the idea of “The Window of Tolerance.”

[Kellyn]: I think that will be very helpful for our listeners. Well, that’s it for today’s episode. Thanks for joining us on 7 Days Inside: EMDR.

[Kyle]: We’ll see you next week.

Resources for What Happens in an EMDR Session?

EMDR Preparation Skills Checklist. I designed this checklist is a tool to help you practice and master the grounding and resourcing skills that form the foundation of EMDR therapy. Consistent practice helps these skills become second nature, allowing you to access them whenever you need to feel more stable and calm. Use this log to track your practice and make notes to discuss with your therapist.

Calm State — EMDR Preparation Worksheet. A one-page practice to help you find, name, and strengthen a body-based feeling of calm you can return to during EMDR and everyday life. Includes SUDs/VOC check, a rehearsal plan, and in-session options for bilateral stimulation.